Friday Cartoon November 6, 2009
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From Pearls Before Swine
You were looking for… November 5, 2009
Posted by quartercenturycrisis in Uncategorized.Tags: advice, blogging
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…something completely different, but you found me! Hooray! I’m sure you’re day was greatly enriched. I am aware though, that you had some questions/problems you were searching for answers to, so because you go side-tracked, I thought I would answer them for you. Killing 2 birds with 1 stone, as they say.
My lazy sibling
Those siblings are a problem aren’t they? Unfortunately, unless you’re an axe-murderer, there’s not much you can do about them – they are here to stay, especially the lazy ones! Just be glad your parents saved the best of the gene pool for you.
It’s the people around me that make it worst
Perhaps it’s time to find a new circle of friends? Unless you’re hanging out with yourself, in which case you have a number of problems – seek professional help.
Why is the moon moving in the wrong direction?
I suspect because it wants to? It must be super boring to go round and round in one direction – like a goldfish going round and round the universal fish tank. I would also change direction every now and the, and remember that “different” is not necessarily “wrong”. Another theory is that the moon and the sun are stuck in a perpetual game of tag. The moon decided to shake things up a little and catch the sun unaware. I’m not convinced this is such a good thing. It might result in something known as “The Apocalypse”. We’ll just have to see what happens.
I hope this helped you. Please feel free to pop by the next time you have a pressing question, or just need to get something off your chest. This door is always open!
Gourmet Grand Prix November 4, 2009
Posted by quartercenturycrisis in Uncategorized.Tags: new beginnings, food, friend, challenge
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I can’t recall when or how it started, but for as far back as I can remember, I have been a fan of Formula One racing. I used to watch it religiously until SABC3 lost the broadcast rights to Supersport. Bastards. Earlier this year I was walking past one of the restaurants at my local shopping centre and saw an advert for the Gourmet Grand Prix club which I decided to give try. This turned out to be of the the best ideas I’ve had this year.
The Gourmet part of the club is a buffet lunch of dishes from the host nation of that particular race. Some of the dishes were pretty obvious (pizza for Italy, sushi for Japan for example) but I think some of them were made up – once we had eaten Monaco Chicken, Belgium Chicken and Spanish Chicken I began to get suspicious… I was actually expecting Abu Dhabi Camel for the last race, but fortunately we were spared that. There were also prizes for correctly predicting the podium finishers. I was the Jensen Button of the club – I cleaned out the prizes at the beginning of the season, hit a serious dry spell in the middle, and then ended the season with a win.
It took a lot of effort and guts to go to that first race. It was only a few months after I lost S and it was the first time I was venturing out somewhere by myself. I felt so awkward and self conscious sitting at a table by myself. But I persevered and went the next time. And the next time. Soon I was invited to join the managers at their table and slowly made friends with them. They are not people that I ever would have imagined myself being friends with, but they seem to enjoy my company as well and are so much fun, as well as really caring people. They are in the process of setting up a trust fund in the name of a close friend of theirs who also passed away from cancer earlier this year. I am truly touched and honoured that this weekend they asked me to be one of the trustees and to speak at their first fund-raiser, which will be aiming to raise awareness of cancers that specifically affect men. I always thought that if I could help just one person through my experience, some good could come of it after all. And it seems that I might get that chance after all. That means more to me than I can put into words.
There’s a lesson I’m learning more and more this year – challenge yourself. Step out of your comfort zone. You never know what is waiting for you there.
Happy Halloween! October 31, 2009
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Are you going to be dressing up or trick or treating tonight? I will be watching one of the best Halloween movies ever made – The Crow. Legend has is that if you see a spider in your house on Halloween, it is the soul of a loved one watching over you. So be kind to those 8-legged demons creatures today!
From Savage Chickens
Exam hell October 31, 2009
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There is something truly revolting about writing exams – not just the fact that you have to write a 2 hour (or longer) paper that you’re usually not totally prepared for (ok, maybe that’s just me) but the fact that you have to do all that in a hall with a bunch of strangers.
I’m not sure if it’s just the nerves, but all social etiquette seems to fly out of the window when people walk into that hall to write. Perhaps it’s just my heightened sense of irritation, but surely if you know you have hay fever/flu/whatever and you know you’re going to be in one place for 2 or more hours without really being allowed to leave, you make sure you have a sufficient supply of tissues with you? Apparently it’s ok to just sniff for 2 hours. Loudly. That kind of back of your throat sniffing that sounds like you’re trying to dislodge a lung. Also, although we’re writing university level exams, the seating arrangements seem to be too higher grade to understand. It’s therefore ok to walk in, sit at any random seat and then once the exam has started, figure out that the paper in front of you is not the one you’re supposed to be writing. You call the invigilator and fins your correct seat. Of course, all of this is done loudly. So far, my “favourite” has to be the gentleman on Tuesday who had a little running commentary throughout the entire exam. This consisted of exclamations of despair each time he read a new question (I’m guessing he wasn’t prepared either) and reading his answers back to himself out loud. Not loud enough to make out what he was saying, but loud enough to create an annoying buzz for 2 hours. Even death stares from the rest of the students and the invigilators did not deter him. So basically I spent 2 hours trying not to throw up due to the sniffers and resisting screaming “for the love of God would you just shut up!!”
Motivation for getting this degree done – sense of achievement and career furthering? Not quite. More like the pleasure of never being stuck in that exam hall ever again.
Expecting the worst October 28, 2009
Posted by quartercenturycrisis in Uncategorized.Tags: dreams, love, missing, smile, thoughts
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Ever since S passed away, I had mapped out in my head every day that was significant and that I expected to be a really tough day. Things like anniversaries, birthdays and other days that had special meaning for us. I specifically planned my life around these days so that I would either be very busy or surrounded by people – either way I wanted to make sure I was easily distracted as I was scared to be alone with my thoughts, fearing the worst.
Each day so far has come and gone and I’ve often found the people around me (especially SIL) far more emotional than I was. I wouldn’t necessarily say the days have been easy, but I think I have been more nostalgic and reflective than sad or depressed. Each time this has happened I’ve questioned why I’m so ok – why am I not bawling my eyes out like everyone else? A few times on the 23rd of the month (THE day), my father has sent me a message saying he thinking of me or he lit a candle for S or something like that, and I haven’t actually realised it’s that day until that point. Similarly, around that same date I’ll get a message from my father-in-law asking how I’m doing because it’s a bad time of the month and they’re scared for what’s coming/depressed/miserable or wherever else they are at that point. While I’m very grateful that he thinks of me, I never know what to say – sorry to hear that, but I’m totally fine? I have felt so guilty about my ok-ness for months now.
I think I had a breakthrough regarding this on Monday – it was my birthday and I got a message from my father-in-law firstly with the generic birthday greetings, but then he went on about how it’s such a sad month and his heart breaks that I don’t get to spend my birthday with S and I must enjoy my day with him (my FIL) by thinking of S. Again, I was grateful that he remembered the day, but to be honest it made me really angry. This was my day! Could I not have just one day where I wasn’t expected to be miserable, and therefore feel guilty because I wasn’t? Then I realised, I don’t have to be miserable. There’s no law that says I must. Perhaps others expect it simply because that’s how they’re feeling, but I’m tearing myself up inside over other people’s expectations.
S never liked anyone to make a fuss of him, and one of the things he hated most was to see me cry. In fact, the only thing he probably hated more was to see my cry because of him. We could be sitting in a doctor’s room hearing the worst news, and his very first reaction would be to turn to me and ask if I was ok. If it was so important to him that I was fine while he was with me, why would it be wrong for me to be fine when he’s not with me (physically at least)? It’s not wrong. It’s what he would want, and more than that, what he would expect. I believe he’s proud of me right now, and I think that is honouring his memory far more than anything else.
At the end of the day, I have some wonderful, incredibly special memories of him and of us. I don’t want to be too scared to remember things or celebrate days that mean the world to me just because I worry about falling to pieces or feeling bad for not falling pieces. That is when they will fade and I will eventually forget. Instead, I’m going to remember with a smile, without feeling bad, and in that way cement the precious place he will always hold in my heart.
Friday Cartoon October 23, 2009
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From Pearls Before Swine
Welcome Summer… October 21, 2009
Posted by quartercenturycrisis in Uncategorized.Tags: Cape Town, friend, happiness, satisfaction, smile, summer
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… I hope you’re here to stay!
Judging by the last few weeks, I think the weather in Cape Town suffers from a multiple personality disorder. But I’m holding thumbs that it has finally decided to stick to summer.
One sure sign that we’ve all decided it’s officially summer is our first sunset picnic on Clifton 2nd on Monday evening. It was the most perfect evening – warm with not a breath of air (one of the benefits of Clifton 2nd actually – there can be a tornado outside, that beach is always perfectly sheltered). As the sun set a light haze drifted in from the sea, giving an effect that’s both creepy and romantic at the same time.
I looked around at the other people on the beach – the couples who have lit candles around them while they sip their champagne, the students playing rugby/frisbee/whatever game they feel like at that moment, the families with the dogs who sneakily try to steal from other people’s plates, and the group of friends like us – and I realised that Cape Town in summer really is one of the best places to be, and I will grit my teeth and deal with the revolting winter for all the months of picnics on the beach!
Your Day October 17, 2009
Posted by quartercenturycrisis in Uncategorized.Tags: love, missing
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Today is your 29th birthday; how I wish you were here. Do you remember your last birthday? We celebrated it 3 days early because you discovered your present and couldn’t wait to open it. On the actual day we went to your favourite restaurant where you shared some champagne with me, even though you weren’t supposed to be drinking. You always said you hated birthdays, but I think secretly you loved the attention. I loved giving you the attention!
One of your unrealised dreams was to be published again, so I thought I would share my poem – let it live on here like you in my heart.
My Vows
As you came like light into my dark world
My heart took into sight the inevitable
And I promised with simple words
That I’ll be yours forever
Yet no words could ever truly capture
This God given love that we share
So I vow once more
That I’ll always be there
‘Til death us do part
And beyond what we see
I promise you my life
And humbly give you me
Happy birthday Angel, I miss you.
The Cultural Divide October 15, 2009
Posted by quartercenturycrisis in Uncategorized.Tags: life, manners, rant, thoughts, work
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One of my work’s target markets is the immigrant community in South Africa, mainly people from West African countries. The majority of our customers are wonderful people, but there are a handful who are ill-tempered, obnoxious, and down right rude. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had the phone slammed down in my ear mid sentence, or had about 10 missed calls before 8 on a Sunday morning because they don’t seem to get that if you don’t answer your phone, maybe you’re not able to. One of our staff members is one of the rudest. He feels nothing for barging into my office whether the door is closed or not, or just starting to talk to me when it is very obvious I am on the phone in the middle of a conversation. Greeting people is strictly optional and usually only happens when he comes in to collect his pay.
In the past I’ve tried to speak to my boss about it, but he won’t take any action because he says their culture is different to ours. Fair enough, but as far as I know, every culture has those basic things called manners. This attitude is something that upsets me a lot. Is it right to make allowances for bad behaviour simply because of cultural differences? Fortunately these days I don’t have to deal with this staff member much as he now reports directly to my manager. Not because he was reprimanded for his attitude, but because of his culture he struggles to take instruction from a woman a couple of years younger than him. Well, welcome to the 21st century my friend.
Unfortunately, due to the shit that went down in our history, I believe we are living in a state where people are so terrified of offending people and possibly being labelled something, that we turn a blind eye and excuse a lot of behaviour. And unfortunately some people take advantage of this. I say we should celebrate our true cultural differences, because some of them are fascinating and wonderful, but when required we should be able to say that particular behaviour is unacceptable in my culture, and most probably yours as well if you’re honest about it.
